Bringing Him my disappointment.
A devotional shared by Lauren J.
Meet Lauren Johnston. Lauren is a wife, proud mom to two sweet boys, Oliver and Gabriel, and a creative at heart. She loves all things beauty and baking, and has found joy in exploring her passions through makeup artistry and starting her own microbakery. She's also a big Lord of the Rings fan who appreciates a little adventure and the beauty of God's creation! Through life's unexpected twists and turns, Lauren has continued to discover the depth of God's faithfulness and love.
SCRIPTURE
Psalm 139:4-10
Today’s Encouragement
What happens when life looks nothing like we imagined, even after we've prayed, trusted, and believed God for something good?
Over the past few years, my family has walked through seasons of grief, miscarriage, a complicated pregnancy, and unexpected job losses. Through it all, I've held on to the belief that God's plans are good, even when I can't understand what He's doing.
After welcoming our second son, Gabriel, we finally began finding our footing again. My husband had found a wonderful job, I had the opportunity to stay home with our boys, and I was exploring things I loved, like makeup artistry and starting a small bakery. Life was beginning to feel settled.
Then, unexpectedly, my husband was laid off.
I wasn't angry with God, but I was weary. After everything we had walked through, I just needed a minute. I knew God was faithful. I believed He had a good plan for us. But I couldn't understand why we were facing another difficult season.
More than anything, I struggled with how to bring Him my disappointment. I didn't want to sound ungrateful, especially knowing how much He had already carried us through.
During a week away at a friend's farm, God met me in a way I hadn't expected. As we explored hidden meadows filled with butterflies, wildflowers, and beautiful trees, I was overwhelmed by the beauty surrounding us. Then my son Oliver spotted a butterfly and said, "Mom, look, God made this butterfly for you."
Something about that simple moment touched my heart. I had experienced God's peace and provision in difficult seasons before, but this time I felt as though His goodness was pursuing me. Even when I wasn't actively looking for Him, I was surrounded by reminders of His love.
I was reminded of Psalm 139, which tells us that there is nowhere we can go beyond God's presence. He knows our thoughts before we can even find the words to express them.
And that's what I needed to remember. God already knew my disappointment. He knew my exhaustion, my questions, and my fears. I didn't need to find the perfect words or pretend everything was okay before coming to Him.
Sometimes making room for Jesus means allowing ourselves to be fully honest with Him, even when our faith and our feelings seem to be pulling us in different directions.
Our family's story is still unfolding. I wish I could say that everything has worked out and we know exactly what's next, but we don't. What I do know is that God has not left us, and His faithfulness doesn't depend on our circumstances.
Even when life doesn't make sense, I can trust that I'm never beyond His reach.
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
Is there a disappointment you've been hesitant to bring before God? What would it look like to stop searching for the right words and simply allow yourself to be honest with Him?
A PRAYER FOR TODAY
Heavenly Father, thank You for Your unchanging love, faithfulness, and the gift of Your Holy Spirit. For every woman facing disappointment or uncertainty, remind her that she is seen, loved, and never alone. Replace anxiety and fear with Your peace, and reveal Your goodness in unexpected ways. Whether we're on the mountaintop or in the valley, help us remember that Your presence goes before us and You will never forsake us. In Jesus' name, Amen.
